Drew Can't Dance Very Well

Still One of The Funniest Jokes Ever

drewkaufman — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 02:07:49 +0000

Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse

drewkaufman — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 03:36:42 +0000

almost there!

How I Spent My Summer Vactation

drewkaufman — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 17:04:31 +0000

This is what I did last year, this year seems to be a lot more counter productive.

Bleak! Comedy is Going on a Hunger Strike!

drewkaufman — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 05:01:42 +0000

Bleak! Hunger Strike

(Edited by yours truly)

Just Because I’m Tearing My Hair Out With School Work…

drewkaufman — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 03:41:50 +0000

Doesn’t mean I cant procrastinate.

Things That Made Me Laugh Hard

drewkaufman — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 22:58:14 +0000

TRUE: President Bush Gets Boooed on Opening Day.

KINDA VAUGLY TRUE: ’9/11 Conspiracy Theories Ridiculous’ – Al Qaeda

VERY VERY TRUE: Tagging your blog with “sex” and “man sex” will get you a lot of hits. I don’t think I ever searched “man sex” fo’ realsies, but whatevz.

Awk…ward….

drewkaufman — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 13:28:25 +0000

So yesterday I was in a writing class and the subject of dark humor came up, more than likely stemming from my mentioning of pedophilia and its association with others in the class. As the discussion grew and grew, I decided it would be appropriate to say this:

So Heath Ledger and Nine-Eleven walk into a a bar…

Which garnered some laughs. Then I proceeded to “air-masturbate” while blowing a raspberry for eight seconds to the shock and horror of everyone else.

You can poke-fun of a tragic celebrity death and 2000 innocent casualties caused by the the thorough rape of our homeland; but pretend to touch your penis for several seconds and you’re a regular Lenny Bruce. Prudes.

Hey! Remember When The Internet Was New?

drewkaufman — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 06:28:02 +0000

Do you remember what websites we’re like in 1998? Well, if you do, (here is a refresher in case you don’t), then take a look here for some nostalgia…

CuddleSpice.com- The land of Cock-a-poos

This is a fan page made for an illustrious hybrid of dog (cocker spaniel + poodle = funniest dog name since cocker spaniel) that I actually found for some reason in Google Syndication. I find it pretty weird someone would pay the hosting costs for a website like this, let alone to pay for advertising? The misguided link appeared in my Gmail browser once again, much like other odd webfinds of Drew Can’t Dance Very Well past.

Lets recap shall we?

Obscure (noun) obsession page? Check.
Tiled jpeg background? Check.
Cutesy anthropomorphic animal gif ? Check.
Oddly chosen pop music MIDI file with no way to stop them without muting your speakers? Check.
References to “Cyberspace” and “Bookmark Bar?” Check.
Nothing what-so-ever straying from a central alignment? Check.
Guest book? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Someone needs to email these fuckers right away and demand a Cock-A-Poo Guestbook, pronto!

Question…

drewkaufman — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 06:59:25 +0000

If you watch a transvestite get her dick sucked by a girl- and I mean a real girl, a born-with-ovaries, uterus and the works female, is that gay? Or is that the straightest a porno can get?

Think about it.

What is straighter than a chick sucking another chick’s dick?

Procrastination, a.k.a: The Album That Never Was

drewkaufman — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 06:42:53 +0000